Part 2.

Skiing vs Snowboarding

Now it’s the single most important question you’ll need to answer bar none, and no it’s not the derivation of Einstein’s field equation, but something infinitely more difficult. Skiing or snowboarding. Imagine having to choose between your two children but neither has been born yet and you haven’t even met your significant other. It’s the age old question and one that will affect you for the rest of your life; even if you change you will never be truly accepted into the opposite faction as they will be able to spot an imposter a mile off.

Skiing, the founding father, the ultimate conservative, Winston Churchill. Iconic style and passes the test of time. None of this fancy standing sideways nonsense, I like to look where I’m going at all bloody times! Skiing is for those who have never been to a gig, and never plan ongoing. Initially the only option on the slopes, it attracts those without much character or senses of individuality, but you can go faster than those blimmin’ snowsurfers or whatever you call them. Usually, parents force skiing upon their kids as no sane person under their 30s would choose this pensioner’s past time – it’s just not that cool.

As for difficulty, skiing is famous for being easy to pick up but hard to master. You fall fewer times to begin with, but it is harder to master. Equipment costs roughly the same, but you do have to purchase ski poles on top of that. One thing to note is that ski boots are CONSIDERABLY LESS COMFORTABLE to wear, and any walking done in them is excruciatingly awkward. However, don’t forget that most ski lifts were designed by skiers for skiers which probably cancels out the previous comment. In conclusion, Skiing is the gentleman’s sport, it’s graceful, it’s conventional and most importantly, it’s not for any Corbynistas!

Now for Snowboarding, if you have ever listened to ‘hip-hop’ or you know who ‘Jay-Z’ is then this is probably the choice for you. Join the rebellion dude! Snowboarding is so far-out man. You’re most likely to find snowboarders chillin’ in the snowpark, shredding some pow, or standing around talking about wealth redistribution and getting in your way! All the snowflake millennials nowadays are doing it. Standing sideways does not look cooler than pointing down the slopes, it’s simply impractical. The fact that both your feet are attached to one board does offer a few advantages, it’s easier to manage and also easier to progress to freestyle riding & off-piste. However, do expect a sore bottom in your first few days. Youths who choose snowboarding spend their non-holiday days loitering in car parks drinking and smoking rollies or campaigning for equal rights. In conclusion, Snowboarding is hip and fresh, and it’s strictly no conservatives.

Now no pressure but make the right decision, whatever you do choose stick to it – and remember it could be worse, you could be riding one of those stupid ski bike things.